“Mutual fund investments are subject to market risks. Please read the offer document carefully before investing.”
I was scanning through internet about money, investments, etc., I could not stop laughing by hearing some of the funny jokes on money and investments. I am summarizing some of the best funny jokes on Money and Investment tips I have read today. Of course, I have not created them, but filtered some of the ones which I liked.
My wife and I have a joint account. I deposit money and she withdraws it.
Daddy, how much does it cost to get married? I don’t know, son, I’m still paying for it!
Do you love me just because my daddy left me a fortune? Not at all, darling. I would love you no matter who left you the money!
When is a man worth a Euro? When he pushes a shopping trolley in the supermarket
Where can you always find money? In the dictionary.
Nurse: How’s the boy who swallowed a pound coin? Doctor: No change yet.
Why did the boy eat his cash? Because it was his dinner money!
I have spent most of my money on women and beer. The rest I just wasted…
Thz cost of living is the difference between your net income and your gross habits!
If we really did profit from our mistakes, I’d be extremely rich by now.
Money is always there, but the pockets change.
What is the difference between a gambler and a pizza? The pizza can feed a family of four.
I wish I had enough money to buy an elephant. What do you want an elephant for? I don’t, I just want the money.
An investor to his advisor: Is really all my money gone? No, of course not. It’s just with somebody else!
Don’t marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper
Money can’t buy you true love.It does however put you in a good bargaining position.
Since he lost his entire fortune,half of his friends do not want to know him anymore.
The other half do not know it yet! What leads most people into debt? Trying to catch up with people who are already there.
What’s the best way to get in touch with your long-lost relatives? Win the Lottery.
If you think no one cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.
Money isn’t everything… But it sure keeps the kids in touch.
There are three kinds of people. Those who can count and those who cannot.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
My wife’s purse was stolen the other day.It had all her credit cards in it. I was going to report it but the thief was spending less than she was!
Jokes on Inflation:-
For the first time in the history of mankind “Need”, “Comfort” and “Luxury” are sold at same price in India.
Onion – Rs. 75/-
Petrol – Rs. 75/-
Beer –Rs. 75/-
Oh my GOD
G for Gold
O for Onion
D for Dollar
As onion price are increasing soon Mannapurram will launch Mannapurram Onion Loan..
Slogan will be “Mannapurram Onion Loan” Jab Ghar me pada ho Kanda fir kaheka wandha
A Kid to God:
Dollar Increased to Rs. 62.. Petrol to Rs. 75 Milk to Rs.50..and Onion to Rs.75 again….
Thank God, Passing marks are still 35.
1 Dollar = 62 Rs/-
1 Euro = 85 Rs/-
Looks like DOLLAR and EURO are taking revenge on India for naming underwear brands on their names
Do you know why there is no underwear brand with name of Rupee Kyonke
Pata Nahi Kab Gir Jaaye
Petrol Loans Available Here
Jokes on Current Economic Condition:-
Finance minister doesn’t know what went wrong with Rupee!
Agriculture minister doesn’t know what went wrong with Onion!
External Affair minister doesn’t know what went wrong in submarine !
Prime Minister doesn’t know what went wrong with all of above..! J
After a man pays his income tax, he knows how a cow feels after she’s been milked.
In India everything we have is taxed – even our patience.
Don’t forget to share this jokes…with your friends.